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It’s been a fun ride. I can remember soaking in the tub in my Renton apartment in 1993 when O My Father was conceived. Little did I know that in two years it would inaugurate my debut album as a Christian artist, swelling with bagpipes & laden with mandolins, violins & more. What a fun ride that was. I was privileged to disseminate my thoughts & beliefs & be a geek on stage. I got to sing in front of an audience of over a thousand people. Cow of holiness.
Looking back, I could have done a lot of things better. But the bottom line is that I did a lot of things right. I surrounded myself with incredibly awesome musicians & vocalists & talents & spirits that at least had a notion of what they were doing, even though they were scratching their heads at the goofball who was picking his nose & trying to sing about stuff he cherished. Ten years later my style has changed, I’ve been to hell & back, I’ve wrestled with demons & celebrated sunshine. I’ve been to dark & light places, bounded over mountains & drowned in festering pools. It's my aim to bound & drown for many years to come. There’s something rich & melancholy about the music & lyric-writing process that really plunges me deep into emotions that I might be otherwise inclined to disregard. It's a pleasant escapism & a horrible torment at the same time. As human beings we have great potential to can, squelch & suppress memories & feelings that really honorably echo our sincerest sentiments & soul’s cry. When we do that, they can only burst out somewhere else: That’s why we’re all on the news so much for murder, rape, brutalities, thefts & discourtesies. Music has been a remedy & a healthy channel for me to be able to stir the vat & churn those feelings up to the surface for examination, revelation, investigation, meditation, along with all the other -ations. Some of my songs have remained as poems; others have been birthed with melodic instrumentation to see the light of day & hopefully bless ears & souls of those whose paths I’ve had the good fortune to cross. I thank & praise God in heaven for the gift of creation, because it strongly echoes His own marvels. I look at the universe & say “I might be able to do that someday.” On earth I’m restricted to a car to get from point a to point b (although “c” was usually out of the question when it came to my old ford focus)...but when creating music & poetry I can fly anywhere I want...without a cape or a rocket-pack. The art of creation propels me skyward & enables me to smash through boundaries & ceilings with the most innocent of intentions (I always clean up the debris & shrapnel afterwards). It allows me to feel, & to sense that chill of life & emotion tingle down my back & ripple down to my fingers. Angst & Glimmerings are examples of works that required a season to bloom, yet were drenched with meaning & articulation so as to remain pillars of expression for me. On the other side of the spectrum, past laughter & rage & emptiness & fortitude, there’s Jagged Little Infatuation Junkie, my tribute to another soul who cherishes genuine expression & means what she sings, what's more. Through the many scraps, pieces & crumbs that I’ve been able to gather up, some are public, some are private. Some are deeply personal, some are on display. Some are laced with ire, some are peppered with ecstasy. Some are about elements I love, some are about people I hate. Some I embrace, some I detest. It’s a fruit salad of pathos & passions & darlings & devils, & a bedlam of nepotism & narcissism, generosity & “gimme,” worship & would-nots. It gives me great pleasure to look back over the years & revel in the many different styles of creation I’ve employed, & to interact with those children again. some of them are bitter pills that I thought I’d recovered from, but again catapult me into rumination and a sentient plunge. I’m nostalgic & reflective like that. A lot of my works, being deeply personal, are in fact time machines, able to suck me back into a vortex & set me down gently (or not so) back in a situation or time that was for whatever reason bathed in sentiment. Of all my musical works, I’m most proud of the song Phoenix (below). This song represents not just the symbolic mythological creature’s meaning, but epitomizes growth & renewal to me. It’s my best lyrical & musical work, in my opinion. I’m proud of all my works, but mostly those that really tap that well of angst, inner tension, struggles & questioning. Painful self-examinations are, well, painful. Songs that pose questions are the songs that I want to hear; not the ones that answer them. A song or a poem should serve as a transport, taking the partaker on a journey of learning & growth. It should not be the teacher, but rather a gentle prodding voice that promotes choice, & allows the partaker to own his or her own successes & failures, & to identify with the meaning behind them. My most recent album is a tribute to Alanis Morissette’s artistic genius, & a reflection of the style of artistry I hold dear...where deep emotion is conveyed & the listener can empathize but also feel like there’s a kindred soul wandering out there facing similar demons. That’s what artistry is all about: relating to one another through genuine meaningful expression. That’s what I’ve tried to do through my music: relate, inspire, delight, madden, frustrate, awe, preach, & listen, but most of all, to celebrate with you, get mad with you, & cry with you. All in all, ten years has gone by too fast. I’ve gone through hell & high water, I’ve had the high’s & lows, I’ve experienced euphoria & bought pills. It’s been an interesting ride, & I’m thankful for all of it, even the isolation & pain. I’m just thrilled to look back & thank God I’m even still alive & can still make music. All of us make music every day, even the kinds without melodies or notes. If I could make a lifelong anthem, it would be just like “excuses” by Alanis...we form our own cells and are our own jailors...therefore we are also our own liberators and possess more potency than we ever dare to employ...
Since then I've been working on different independent projects like "SonicLogos", sequencing them myself and producing them at my home studio. I have very much enjoyed this process and, quite simply, it's when I feel most alive. I hope to be able to continue making music long after I'm gone. At the turn of the millennium I began this new pursuit of graphic design & multimedia production through IstariMedia LLC, and I equally enjoy the opportunities to produce top-quality work for clients. It's all the joy of creation, no matter how you slice it!
This multimedia mp3-CD includes music, writings, pictures & artwork. Along with the public releases of previously heard song versions, this CD contains previously unreleased versions of songs, from the earliest creation versions all the way to recent remixes incorporating new elements intended to “flesh out” the song more musically. Music is featured from the following of Ryan's albums (below)...
Also included are performance & studio pictures, & poetically reflective writings from Ryan’s 10 years in the performing arts.
Pics & Extras Included on CD. Recordings Included:
1 peter 1 ∙ 100 years* ∙ 21 things I want in a lover* ∙ afraid ∙ america the beautiful ∙ and he shall be called ∙ angst intro ∙ answer the call* ∙ away from the sun* ∙ beaten ∙ beggar ∙ believe ∙ better days* ∙ blanket ∙ blessed is the man ∙ blue monster ∙ books, the ∙ carry your cross ∙ change your mind* ∙ cleansed ∙ context ∙ countdown to armageddon ∙ devil, the ∙ divorce ∙ domani* ∙ earthblood ∙ eccI commercials • elijah ∙ emperor voice ∙ enough for me ∙ ephesians 6 ∙ everything ∙ fly ∙ follow me* ∙ for the king ∙ fruits ∙ funny voice mail greeting 1 & 2 ∙ glimmerings intro ∙ god causes all things to grow* ∙ god’s will ∙ great adventure, the* ∙ hand in my pocket* ∙ hands clean* ∙ he is everywhere ∙ head over feet* ∙ heal the world* ∙ hemorrhage (in my hands)* ∙ here without you* ∙ hooded ∙ hook ∙ I surrender all* ∙ identity ∙ if you’re not the one* ∙ into the west (from return of the king)* ∙ istarimedia demo video intro & outro ∙ it is finished ∙ james 1 ∙ jesus’ prayer ∙ jubilation ∙ judas ∙ let all the earth ∙ life intro ∙ love ∙ love crusade*∙ luI ha tutto il mondo* ∙ lullaby* ∙ me & jewlie goofing off ∙ more than mix ∙ more than this ∙ mouth of sauron voice ∙ music ∙ my love ∙ my word ∙ nana ∙ neutral ∙ never far ∙ never let you go* ∙ noI innalziamo te ∙ none other ∙ northridge gardens demo intro & outro • not all me* ∙ o my father ∙ o my reprise ∙ ode to joy ∙ ode to quiet ∙ ode to tolkien* ∙ offer* ∙ old man weeping ∙ only answer, the ∙ patience ∙ peace be still* ∙ people keep writing him songs* ∙ phillipians 2 ∙ please don’t go* ∙ pray for me* ∙ precious illusions* ∙ psalm 1 ∙ psalm 91 ∙ reason, the* ∙ regarding sophia ∙ resurrection ∙ revelation 21 ∙ revelation 3:20 ∙ right through you* ∙ romans 10:9 ∙ season in season out ∙ shame ∙ simple together* ∙ sin ∙ sing allelujah to the lord ∙ slipping down to the dreamworld ∙ so unsexy* ∙ soapless in seattle web page intro narration ∙ son of man ∙ soniclogos intro ∙ sono credente* ∙ surge ∙ t ∙ tenderbeat ∙ thank you ∙ that particular time* ∙ thou have I loved ∙ to know you ∙ trials ∙ uninvited* ∙ up there ∙ voices demo ∙ wake ∙ wanna be ∙ who ∙ why ∙ william gray custom homes kid-code commercial ∙ word, the ∙ yellow* ∙ your body is a wonderland*
* These are bonus free tracks
CD price: $15. Shipping: $2.50
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Click here to check out the NEW album in the works!
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